Rise of COBRA: Destro

James McCullen Destro XXIV >>>>>> Josh Stone

This Destro comes from the Rise of COBRA live action movie line of toys.

Before Joseph Gordon-Levitt made it in 3rd Rock from the Sun, hence leading to his role as Cobra Commander for the G.I. Joe movie Rise of COBRA, he was in a sitcom called Powers That Be. He played the grandson of a senator (played by John Forsythe) trying to hold onto his ideals in a cynical world. Gordon-Levitt’s father was be played by David Hyde Pierce, and the guy was brilliant in it as the mumbling son-in-law on the verge of a nervous breakdown. His budding affair with the maid was probably the highlight of the series. Actually, everyone did a great job, the only one I felt lacking was the star himself, John Forsythe, who was a tad too unbelievable as an idealist for being a career politician.

One of my favorite joke sequence in the series was when Gordon-Levitt’s character (a straight A student), hacked into the school database to change the one class he was failing. That class was of course, computer. So he and dad (or was it grandma?) had a heart to heart talk where they told him he broke the Cardinal Law of Politics… he got caught.

Oh, by the way, the above has absolutely nothing to do with this Destro review. If you’ve spent time reading it, you’ve gained trivia but lost seconds of your lifespan. OHOHOHO!

Let’s start with the bad, there’s only a couple points here. First up, from a direct frontal view, Destro looks doofy. And from one or two angles, he looks like a doofy conehead. And oh, his suit looks real plasticy. Some weathering or a less toyetic plastic would have been really nice.

Now onto the good… there is no good thing about Destro. There is only AWESOME. Aside from the couple bad points mentioned above, Destro looks fan-friggin-tabulous. I don’t know what else there is to say about that. It’s a pretty basic design, but it looks great at this scale. I’ll just leave the fact that Destro looks like “Kobe steak dipped in awesome sauce then cooked to medium rare perfection with truffle stuffed fois gras covered with a win-tastic processed net of lard and served with a side of El-Presidente-Excellente royale and a fine glass of wine” aside and move onto my next point.

Which is that Destro is totally versatile. On the face of it, he’s Rise of COBRA Destro, but in a jiff, he can work as Resolute Destro OR he can be a 60s super spy. He has that look. Oh, and speaking of looks, if you view at his mask from an underneath angle, he totally looks like he’s going insane under the mask. Just sayin’.

Articulation-wise is your usual Joe stuff. Ball jointed neck, torso and hips (4 PoA). Hinged and socket shoulders, elbows and ankles (6 PoA). Swivel wrists (2 PoA). And double-hinged knees (4 PoA) for and overall of 16 points of articulation. Not bad. Certainly a better than even your standard Stormtrooper. It’s not as impressive or useful as that of a Motion Revive Series figure, but it’s pretty good. And his “skirt” doesn’t get in the way of his leg articulation too much. Destro’s one of those toys I’m willing to be more forgiving in the articulation department anyway, but I’m glad he’s still pretty articulated for a Joe.

Accessories is where you get most of your money back with this guy. He’s got the stand, a couple small guns and even a big rifle-shotgun-flamethrower thingy that can be disassembled and pegged to the side of his legs. And of course, the BFF. No, not Best Friends Forever, although they ARE. I mean his Big Fan-Frikkin-Fabulous Flame-launcher, which as the name suggests, launches a flame shaped missile. It’s a pretty strong firing mechanism, but what I like most about it is that there’s a double cocked mechanism involved. It means you can cock the missile in, but it won’t fire when you push the big red button. Instead, you have to cock it in further for it to shoot. This is a pretty nice touch, since it means you can have the missile in while not worrying about accidental firing.

Say hello to my little friend.

If you only plan on getting just one RoC figure, or heck, if you’re totally not interested in the RoC line at all, then just get Destro and be done with it. The other figures are all ultimately passable, despite some of them looking mighty cool. But Destro is the only must have.

Pros: Looks good. Articulated. Has the it factor.
Cons: Looks doofy from an angle or two.

4.0 out of 4.0

0.0 – 0.0 = I’d pay to get rid of it
0.1 – 0.5 = I’d give it away
0.6 – 1.0 = I wouldn’t take it for free
1.1 – 1.5 = Very Bad
1.6 – 2.0 = Bad
2.1 – 2.5 = Average
2.6 – 3.0 = Good
3.1 – 3.5 = Very Good
3.6 – 4.0 = Excellent

This entry was posted in 1/18th, G.I. Joe, Toy Reviews and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Rise of COBRA: Destro

  1. Landon says:

    Was VERY tempted to snag him the other day, but he’d look odd next to my Muggs and Figmas. Still, might turn around and get him anyway, since he DOES look pretty awesome. Shame the other Joes kinda suck.

    • updatedude says:

      Dang you! Where are you!? We have things to discuss, yer friggin LAB! We have links to share. BRAIN dominators and PROTTING to do.

      And yes, get Destro, ignore the rest. He can be communist Silver Surfer if necessary.

  2. Wes says:

    This looks like a great figure — if only the mask were removable! He’d be a lock for me if that were the case. :)

    • updatedude says:

      ARGH! Yeah, the SDCC version is removable. Man, darn those convention exclusives. I’ll just have to settle for popping his head off and putting whichever spare head is appropriate.

  3. Pingback: RoC Snake Eyes (Paris Pursuit) « Turquoise Version

  4. Pingback: Super Duper Mass Reviews (pt 2) « Turquoise Version

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