Longhorn Beetle

Heard this squeaking in my car last night, felt something on my arm, batted it away. In the darkness, saw a freaky roach with crazy long antennae. But it was hard to make out. I went to grab some newspaper to squish it, but it was gone by the time I got back. Drove home. Tonight, saw it on my car window, batted it away with some rolled up paper. Took a good look at it, wasn’t a roach. It’s a beetle of some sort. I’m bugged out by bugs, so I tried to squish it, but being a beetle, it’s immune to my flacid newspapers. I managed to corner it, then used a plastic bottle to try squishing it. And then it made that squeaking sound again. Like two moist pieces of rubber rubbed against one another. Didn’t kill it, but it staggered into the shadows. I drove home, googled it, found out it’s a longhorn beetle.

I’m bugged out by bugs, obviously, especially roaches. The beetle’s sorta pretty but again, I’m not a bugger. Heck, I don’t even wanna kill it per se, just get it the fudge outta my car, but it looks like this ain’t gonna end pretty. Gonna bring in the bug spray tomorrow. Hopefully it’ll be out in the open and we can end this right quick, but my guess is that this is a nocturnal insect.

Here’s a vid, it sounds pretty much exactly like this. Only I didn’t aggravate it as long as the guy in the video did.

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